How in the Hell Did Mo Williams Drop 52 Last Night

Posted: January 14, 2015 in Miscellaneous
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Last night Mo Williams scored 52 points against the Indiana Pacers.  This was, in part, because Indiana has reversed the course of human evolution and now has an entire roster full of single-cell organisms and primordial goo.  But it was also, in part, because Mo Williams can apparently do something other than pretend to be John Legend and rich-people functions.

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Mo Williams was straight ballin’ last night, son.  But how did he do it?  How did the 32-year-old journeyman get over the half century mark?  I’ve got some theories that are just as plausible as any explanations I’ve heard thus far.

(*Author’s note: be forewarned: the photoshopping is horrendous!!!!!)

Theory #1: His dead brother Came back from the grave and magically helped him


Theory #2: He found a magical pair of Jordans hanging from a powerline in the hood, strapped them on, and hilarity (*Author’s note: and terrible original rap music) ensued


Theory #3: He is actually an alien sent from a theme park on Mars to steal the talents of other NBA players.


Theory #4: After missing a halfcourt jumper he makes a life-altering wish to have the skills of Kevin Durant.  When Durant hands him a ball a jolt of magically electrodes fly through both of them and he becomes endowed with KD’s game.


Theory #5: While vacationing in the moors of Scotland, Mo Williams was bitten by a large, ferocious beast that ran off into the night before he was able to fully identify it.  After returning to the US he realized that he was faster, stronger, and hairer than before.  He finds himself routinely running nude throughout the parking stalls of the Target Center on full moons in search for blood.  Yes, Mo Williams is now a werewolf.  A werewolf with a jumper, that is!



I know what you may be saying to yourself.  “These are stupid.”  Or “You’re a moron.” Maybe even, “You’re right. . .he does look kind of like John Legend.  And you’d be right on all counts.  However, if you have a better explanation, I’d love to hear it.  Because let me reiterate: last night Mo-mother-f-ing Williams went for 52.



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