Nebraska Cornhusker defensive coordinator John Papuchis is a master motivator.  He first got on the mic to spit hot fire prior to Nebraska’s game against the Miami Hurricanes in early September.  Then, in an effort to fire up the team, he once again stepped into the booth to show off his lyrical chops prior to the Wisconsin game.  But with two smash hits that had been tearing up the charts for months, what would coach Papuchis do?  His mentor and head coach Bo Pelini was fired on November 30,2014 and so Papuchis had one last chance to rally the troops and show what he was made of.

It begs the question: what does a man who knows his time has come do to send off one last parting shot?  He.  Brings.  The.  Heat.

Here’s John Papuchis’ third and final diss track, as he takes aim at the Trojans and — as usual — says his own name a lot.  Utilizing a secret source in the inner circles of Nebraska football, we were able to obtain an exclusive leaked copy of Papuchis’ latest single.  Shots fired!  (*Author’s note: the lyrics are transcribed below)

(Lyrics)

To all the Trojans at the bowl with red and gold
I’m going all in, Ho, so you gots to fold
Who’s the bro who keeps it chill, when everybody’s getting canned?
I’m the man with the plan, and the Whoop-ass can
So let’s crack it open, and let’s have us a taste
Here’s my resume, son, so just copy and paste
Defensive P. Diddy, I can’t stop, won’t stop
Treat your QB like the beat, just wait for him to drop
Stadium full of Real Housewives, Call ‘em Bethanny Frankels
Let’s be clear, it’s Ameer, breaking Josh Shaw’s ankles
I’m more Mack than Lemore, watch more film than Cannes
Might be playin’ USC but I’m the real Trojan man
Charlie’s Angels 2, man, we’re coming full throttle
Only time I respect Sark is when it’s Cutty in a bottle
Yeah you might have Miley, but I’m Heating: Pat Riley
So what Snoop ‘s on your side, I got a Cable Guy

(I love it when you call me Papuchis)
Throw your hands in the air, if yous a true player
(I love it when you call me Papuchis)
To my defense sacking QBs and I’m blitzin’ with Newby
(I love it when you call me Papuchis)
If you got a job up at your school, then just hire me  fool
Casue I got a defense tonight that will be rolling with JP
JP

It’s Papuchis’ defense, let me make that clear
It’s time for bone-crushing hits, those are called Pap Smears
Agin’ like fine wine, here comes our dope D-line
To San Diego which is German for a Whale’s Vagin
Trojan women looking like Mickey Rourke in the Wrestler
Here comes that blitz, comin’ for a Kessler yessir.
Running circles round you suckers, winnin’ the race
Carving up your o-line like it’s Bruce Jenner’s face
More ill than ebola, always a high rolla
John Papuchis Jr. has got 20’s on his stroller
Ain’t no way that Papuchis and his boys gonna fail
Even though Pelini’s gone, we had a BoGo sale
Will we win, of course I’m a human Trojan horse
And luck? May it be with you, like it’s Jedi Force
Bouncing back for a win, got a team like flubber, tell those Trojan Men that JP don’t wear a rubber.

(I love it when you call me Papuchis)
Throw your hands in the air, if yous a true player
(I love it when you call me Papuchis)
To my defense sacking QBs and I’m blitzin’ with Newby
(I love it when you call me Papuchis)
If you got a job up at your school, then just hire me  fool
Casue I got a defense tonight that will be rolling with JP
JP

FIN

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