We all know that this is a big weekend for Husker Defensive Coordinator, John Papuchis.  We know there’s a lot at stake, it’s a nationally televised game, and it’s a primetime showdown with Nebraska’s only good at-home opponent of the year.  So I figured that there was a lot of different motivational tactics likely being employed by Bo Pelini’s coaching staff.  But I didn’t see this coming.

The Hurricanes, for their part, came out firing yesterday, cranking off some digital smack-talk to Husker wide receiver, Jordan Westerkamp.  Not to be outdone, the fiery defensive coordinator from Nebraska did what most 6-figure-a-year, 36-year-old coaches would do: diss track.  That’s right.  JP threw on his parachute pants, his gold rope chain — that he keeps hidden deep in the back of his closet from his years spent breakin’ on cardboard boxes with his crew –, and grabbed the mic to spit some hot fire Miami’s way.

Through an exclusive leak in the NU athletic department, we’ve been able to obtain a digital copy of Papuchis’ Miami Diss Track.

Papuchis [x4]

My, my, my, my defense hits you so hard
Feels like a freight train “Oh my Lord”
Thank you for blessing me
With a defensive end like Gregory
When we win, you know I head downtown
A fishbowl up in Duffy’s and you cannot frown
Al Golden? He’s a douche
And all of my boys, call me: Papuch.

Papuchis [x4]

Corner Blitz, Kalu
Blowin’ up Miami, like he’s Bad Boys II
So stand, out ya seat
And get up, get down to this Hogwash beat
Watch my Blackshirts, do their crossbone dance
Makin’ Al Golden crap his nice dress pants
Like that, like that
Comin’ on a mission for a quarterback sack
Now ya know, that it’s time to punt
We’re here to light you up like a Carl Pelini blunt

Papuchis [x3]

Me and Pelini, we’re number 1
You’re only Bo once we call it YOBO, son
Offense, we wreck
We’re pullin’ down your body like a wet crewneck
We’re hyped, and tight
Smearing Dukie Johnson like a dude who didn’t wipe
Need a roof, to raise
Runnin’ through your offense like a Tolbert blaze
The Canes? I’m dissin’
‘Cause Uncle Luke’s Broke and Shapiro’s in prison

That’s word because you know…

Papuchis [x3]

Break it down!
Stop, Miami Time!

Shirts are Black, under Red
If Miami loses then their season’s dead.
So crunk those speakers up, son
Bump that Hip Hop Hogwash, sorry Ack-er-man.
This is it, for real
Stadium’s fuller than Sapp, post-meal
Tip, up your cup
Party like Kevin Olsen let’s get fucked up

Papuchis [x3]

Break it down!
Stop, Miami time!

Papuchis [x4]

Break it down!
Stop, Miami Time!

Every time you see me
Papuchis keeps it hype
I’m dope on the headset and I’m more magic than Mike.
Now why would I ever stop calling plays?
With Big 10 Competition, man, you know I’m smelling a raise!
Our defense is too nasty, from Lincoln to South Beach
It’s “JP, Go JP, Do it JP, Coach JP”
Let’s execute, Bo Preach!

Papuchis [x8]

(*Author’s note: who are the five greatest rappers of all time? Papuchis, Papuchis, Papuchis, Papuchis, and Papuchis!)

FIN

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Comments
  1. d says:

    good lord hahaha. the idea of papuchis just shouting his own name over & over again…

  2. […] Papuchis, it’s that he’s also the illest MC to ever grace the mic in the state of Nebraska.  He obliterated Miami with this hot-fire diss track in September, undoubtedly being the fuel for the engine that propelled the Big Red to their biggest win of the […]

  3. […] Papuchis, it’s that he’s also the illest MC to ever grace the mic in the state of Nebraska.  He obliterated Miami with this hot-fire diss track in September, undoubtedly being the fuel for the engine that propelled the Big Red to their biggest win of the […]

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