Romeo, Romeo, Wherefore Art Thou Romeo? Doing an Interview with Burnpoetry, That’s Where. . .

Posted: May 21, 2013 in Sports
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Former Chiefs coach and noted romantic, Romeo Crennel, has accepted the head coaching position for the Mantua Manglers of the OOIFL (Other, Other, Indoor Football League).  Crennel, recently exiled to Mantua after running afoul of the Prince of Kansas City didn’t take long before he was taking a new job.  He was kind enough to sit down with me for a recent interview in which we cleared the air, talked a little about his current gig, and touched on his ill-fated time as the star cross’d coach of the Chiefs.

Chris Hatch: Thanks for joining me, Romeo.  Tough break, getting the Golden Axe in Kansas City.  How’re you holding up?

Romeo: Ay, me.  Sad hours seem long.

CH:  What sadness lengthens Romeo’s hours?

Romeo:  Not having that, which, having, makes them short?

CH:  In a job?

Romeo:  Out.

CH:  A job?

Romeo: Of a job.  In a place with the best barbecue ribs in the country.

CH:  Damn it, now you’re making me sad.  Let’s keep it together here, Romeo.  What about life here in Mantua?  It doesn’t seem so bad.  I mean, they’ve got a Sizzler, a Carl’s Junior, a 2-Screen Movie theatre.  You’ll forget about KC soon enough, right?

Romeo:  O, teach me how I should forget to think?

CH:  Let’s talk about some of the positives.  The Manglers are stacked.  They’re coming off an 8-2 season last year and they were in the OOIFL’s championship game.  And what about your Quarterback?  Tim Dickinson was the MVP last year.  What can you say about his performance thus far?

Romeo:  O, he doth teach the torches to burn bright!  It seems he hangs upon the cheek of night Like a rich jewel in an Ethiope’s ear.

CH:  Umm. . .that’s high praise.  I think.  See things don’t sound so bad here.  Shoot me straight, though, Romeo.  Some people are saying that you’re not cut out for a head coaching gig in the NFL.  They see that you failed in KC.  And you also had a pretty rough stint in Cleveland–

Romeo:  They jest at scars that never felt a wound.

CH:  But, you know. . .Cleveland’s always in a pretty rough spot.  What if they wanted you back in some capacity?

Romeo:  Tempt not a desperate man.

CH:  Yeah, you’re right.  That probably wasn’t cool of me.  Listen, though, man.  I’ve brought a peace offering.  I spoke with our mutual friend Bill Belichik and he asked me to drop off a copy of his playbook from the 2000 season when you guys were working together in New England.  He thought you could use the help.

Romeo:  If I profane with my unworthiest hand this holy shrine, the gentle fine is this: my lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss.

CH:  You’re not going to kiss that playbook are y—and you just did.  I guess this is what rock bottom looks like.

Romeo: No.  Here’s rock bottom.  I’ll give you 10 bucks for a ride to Golden Corral. . .

CH: My poverty, but not my will, consent.



  1. d says:

    Hahahah of course it’s golden corral.

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