The Loch Hess Monster: A Bitter, Sour-Grapes, GIF-Report on Wichita State’s Loss to Louisville. . .Kind of

Posted: April 8, 2013 in Sports
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

(*Author’s note: I’m not one to complain too much about officiating.  I hate being “that guy.”  But. . .I do love hating on incompetent officials.)

The call came a little too fast, for my liking.  There and then gone, a moment captured in time by a ref that literally the entire planet hates.  Wichita State and Louisville got tangled up for a moment and evil intervened.  Karl Hess, known by legions of NCAA basketball fans as a human Chernobyl Meltdown, intervened.  Jump ball.  Here’s what it looked like:

Here’s a GIF of Hess ejecting two former NC State players (*Author’s note: who by all accounts are local legends for their play for the Wolfpack)  for heckling him from the sidelines of the game.  One of them is former NBA player, Tom Gugliotta.  Hess cited his reasoning for the ejection as “excessive demonstration” by the former players.

But wait, there’s more. . .

The next GIF is a pretty boring, standardly low-quality joint (*Author’s note: work with me on a few of the home-brewed GIFS, people.  I’m still learning.  In fact, if anyone has a good — and more importantly — free GIF-maker, I’m interested.  Let me know in the comment section or an e-mail.) but let me explain why I included it.  First, here’s the GIF.


Looks like a pretty standard ref-huddle, right?  Just some zebras talking about the game, or page 56 in their 900 page NCAA rulebook.  But in this case there’s two things you should know about this GIF-huddle.

1.  It has Karl Hess in it.  So you know that he probably did something stupid/obnoxious/accidentally put his cup of coffee down on the nuclear launch button for the missiles aimed at North Korea.

2.  This was moments after these refs had lined up the teams going the wrong way during the tip, in overtime in the UConn V.S. Marquette game earlier this year.  “Oh, no big deal,” you might be saying.  Here’s the kicker: the refs didn’t notice, despite both benches screaming at them after the jump, until Marquette drove to the hoop, had their shot goal-tended, and was awarded two points.  They subsequently negated the two points, despite it being their error in the first place and Marquette went on to lose by 1.  Ladies and gentleman, bow down before Karl Hess.

I’m ready to implement a Code Black Boozer Alert, here, people.  We need someone to take Karl Hess out.  Hard.  And there’s no one man who’s better at cleaning house on the referees of the world than Carlos Austin Boozer, Jr.

Why, just take a look at what he did a few days ago to an NBA official.


(*Author’s note: In conclusion: great season, Wichita State.  You’re dirt Karl Hess.  Go Michigan.)



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