On Wednesday, February 6th, 2013 Coach Bo Pelini held a press conference to discuss the Nebraska Cornhuskers’ newest football recruiting class.  It was National Signing Day.  A day when sports nerds, multi-million dollar football programs, message board hacks, and 18-year-olds collide and are shaken-not-stirred into a blended up cocktail of high expectations and suspended realities.  Normally it’s a day for unfettered speculation and anxiety-fueled prognostication.  We try to see into the future using not a crystal ball, but a crystal football trophy as our guide.  Sometimes it works, plenty of times it doesn’t. 

On Wednesday, February 6th, 2013 Coach Bo Pelini held a press conference to discuss the Nebraska Cornhuskers’ newest football recruiting class.  But something else stole the show.  It wasn’t a 4-star recruit with stunning measurable.  It wasn’t a Ju-Co prospect who had been tapped by talk-radio shows and breathless scouting analysts as a guy who could make an “immediate impact.”  In fact, it wasn’t a player at all.  It was Bo Pelini’s forehead.

There, affixed to his $2.875 million dollar head was a lump.  A seriously noticeable, sizeable knot had appeared in the upper left side of his forehead.  Being that this is Nebraska and being that there is little else for us to do this time of year, speculation ran rampant.  But what really happened to Bo Pelini’s forehead?  He claimed that he ran into a pole, but haven’t we seen enough Bo Pelini pressers to know that “truth” and “media truth” are often times tossed out completely in favor of coachspeak?  I was less interested in the recruiting class than the fact that Bo showed up looking like he’d just cheated on Elin Nordegren and tried to escape her 3-wood in an Escalade. 

Here are just a few of my theories on what really happened to Bo Pelini’s forehead.

–  He carpooled in to work with Ndamukong Suh.

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Suh only got a D+ in Driver's Ed.

– He can’t deny his ancient, primal instincts. It’s science. Just check the fossil record:

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Shoot her!! Shoot her!!

– He has been trying his hand at the other football:

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– This is how he spends most of his weekends during the offseason:

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Is Bo, in fact, a pikey?

FIN

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