Sequel Watch. . .The Mood is Tense: The Return of Anchorman

Posted: March 29, 2012 in Pop Culture
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(*Author’s note: first thing’s first, I stole the “Sequel Watch” quote from my friend, Cerny.  It’s a time-honored Anchorman fan tradition, that I am honoring in the title, to use other peoples’ quotes to be funny.  Or to try to be.  I.E. when my buddies and I used to determine our sobriety by seeing who could say “The human torch was denied a bank loan.”)

Ron Burgundy made an appearance last night.  Like a shimmering mirage of mustache, he was there and then gone.  Glimmering in the studio air, like a peyote-induced, spirit quest animal that I had conjured with my mind (and an illicit hallucinogen).

The Anchorman sequel, long whispered about in offices and written about in the clattering chorus of internet bloggers and fellow nerdy enthusiasts, may be finally in the works.  The long-awaited announcement landed on the ears of foaming-at-the-mouth fans like the beautiful, lilting sounds of a Burgundy jazz flute solo (*Author’s note: pronounced “yazz” or course).  Literally.

The announcement came on the set of the Conan O’Brien show when suddenly the host’s conversation with co-host Andy Richter were interrupted by the glorious sounds of righteous flutation.  It was Mr. Burgundy, to be sure.  No man can bring the pure, unadulterated stank to flutedom like the master.

As the crowd rose to their feet in a recklessly passionate standing ovation, Mr. Burgundy and his flute made passionate musical love that crescendoed with a climactic flourish.  I felt like I was watching Michael Jordan wearing #45 as he drove to the hoop and realizing, holy hell. . .he hasn’t lost a step.

Mr. Burgundy engaged in a witty repartee with the host and his trusty, portly, sidekick before dropping a bombshell that’s been a long time in coming.  He announced that after years of waiting, the project to make a sequel to Anchorman was finally underway.

As a diehard Anchorman fan I was thrilled to read on Deadline Hollywood’s website that much of the original team is allegedly in place for the sequel.  That means Champ, Bryan Fantana, and Brick, sweet Brick, should all be back.  As of yet, it’s unclear what the script will entail, but we can only hope that the movie can live up to the expectations that are sure to start building.  I feel certain that even if the plot for the second movie is “Ron Burgundy and the Channel 4 News Team float in the empty vacuum of space and say nothing” that I would still be more than willing to plunk down my $8.50 to attend and enjoy.

I, as well as many others, have missed Ron’s musk over the past few years.  Even though I still will pop in my DVD of Anchorman from time to time to just remind myself how good Paul Rudd, Will Ferrell, David Koechner, and Steve Carrell play off of each other at the height of their humorous powers, I have long awaited a sequel.

The fact that the sequel has been so long in coming can mean two different things: 1. This movie won’t be a cash-grab that’s thrown together as quickly as possible to capitalize on the first movie’s enormous success (*Author’s note: here’s looking at you, The Hangover 2) and it will be funny, well thought out, and, once again, uniquely awesome or 2.  There wasn’t a good enough storyline to make the film production worthwhile and the guys behind this film have decided to cobble something together to make boatloads of dough.  Let’s hope it’s the former and not the latter.

To be honest, none of these guys really needs the money.  Producer Judd Apatow, who’s back, has built a comedy empire that has his net worth hovering somewhere between Jay-Z and God.  The stars of the movie have all had extremely successful and profitable careers outside of the franchise.  Koechner, who has not turned into a box office smash success like the other members of the team, is still landing roles in comedies and doing well in his own right.

Rudd, Carrell and Ferrell are all-stars in their own right, but putting them back together, with glue-guy Koechner, is like watching the ’92 Dream Team all over again.

Frankly, I’m giddy about the entire proposition.  After the news broke I immediately found myself re-quoting the movie like I had just seen it for the first time.  Will the sequel to one of the funniest movies ever made be a rare exception (*Author’s note: Christmas Vacation and Army of Darkness come to mind, even though they’re a little further along in their series’ than just “Part 2″s) to the long-held cinematic belief that: 60% of the time, comedy sequels suck every time?  Will the sequel, much like milk on a day that’s “so damn hot!” turn out to be a bad choice?  Will I ever grow out of quoting Anchorman?

I’d love to answer all those questions but I’m actually heading back to the. . .pants. . .store.  It’s the pleats on these pants.  They’re very flattering in the. . .crotchal region.

FIN

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Comments
  1. Maggie O'C says:

    i love your blog! Yer funny.
    You must also be young and still full of idealism and enthusiasm other positive characteristics…. I fear Anchorman 2 is going to suck. But I will always have my dvd of the first.

    “Crotchal” hahahahaha. I used to refer to a certain region of my body as “chestral”.

    I’ll be back!

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