Huskers V.S. Fresno State: Taking the Fight Out of the Dogs

Posted: September 9, 2011 in Sports
Tags: , , , , , ,

I went to Fresno once.  I tell you this not because it’s particularly pertinent to breaking down tomorrow’s matchup or relevant to their program, but rather because prior to looking into their football team to write about, I knew two things about the area:  1.  they have a really cool McDonald’s where my family and I once stopped to partake in some quarter pounders or whatever was on sale at the time and 2.  Occasionally the produce NFL-worthy talent, although David Carr was a bigger bust than Pepsi Blue and Ryan Matthews who gets fantasy dweebs all hot and bothered but otherwise has had an injury-filled rookie year with little else to show.

So what does Fresno State bring to the table this weekend as they travel to the Nebraska Cornhuskers?  Well they have another D. Carr waiting in the wings.  Derek, David’s brother is the starting QB for the Bulldogs.  I landed on Derek Carr’s player Bio on the Fresno State website and noticed several things about the starter. 

He put up insane numbers in high school and might be a legitimate quarterback, but as a redshirt sophomore who has thrown only 47 times in his career it’s a little too early to figure out whether he’ll play like the college version of his brother or the NFL version of his brother.  He was sacked 4 times by Cal, which doesn’t bode well as he will now have the bloodthirsty Blackshirt defensive line looking to slake their violent whims by knocking him back to the desert wasteland that he came from (Bakersfield, CA).

Also worth noting was the way in which the young QB was described by his own athletic site, which stated, “played two seasons of high school football in the Houston area before moving back to his hometown of Bakersfield the summer before her senior year.”  Not exactly a vote of confidence from the school. 

Hopefully they’ll correct the typo.  Hopefully that is a typo.  I’m all for Title IX, (*Author’s note: that’s not an entirely true statement.) but that’s taking it a bit far.

One last gem from the Derek Carr, Fresno State Unintentional Comedy Club was this little piece of work: “most admires Brett Favre because he never quits.”  Was that supposed to be a joke?  I’m not sure. 

If that was supposed to be as funny as I found it to be, Derek Carr might have become my hero.  If he didn’t get the irony of that statement, then I hope Jared Crick freight trains him into an onrushing Eric Martin who impales him with a monster sack.  I guess I want that anyway.

A large question still remains about the Husker offense.  People have been rushing to the lifeboats, trampling women and children, in their attempts to bail out on the HMS Husker Titanic after one week.  I think it’s a little early for that. 

Martinez simply isn’t that good of a passer.  I’ve come to terms with that.  Most Husker fans get that.  But it’s unsettling.  Last week was the least fulfilling 33-point victory in recent memory due in large part to our young QB’s seeming inability to hit his receivers’ hands.  Again, still a little too early to be envisioning this years’ team just crossing the airways into the Bermuda Triangle, but disconcerting nonetheless.

The strangest part about all this is that if we, the uneducated, un-NFL-tutored masses can see this then certainly so can the Huskers’ coaching staff. They will have to find some way to make it work offensively.

19 carries for Martinez is too many, and I feel like we’re all in need of a little Rexual Healing.

The option has a certain nostalgic value for Husker fans. It’s a lot like our a favorite, old T-Shirt. But last Saturday, when we pulled that tee out of storage and threw it back on it was wrinkly, ill-fitting, and kind of faded. Hopefully Tim Beck went back to the drawing board…and the ironing board for this weekend to try to smooth the offense out.

Quite frankly, I don’t expect us to lose to a team with a woman at quarterback, whether or not she might have a beard in her team photo, and I can only hope that our team comes out ready to steamroll an inferior opponent.

After the Callahan years and several years of agonizing growing pains, our fan base is ever wary; more guarded than a freshly jaded female getting hit on by a stranger. A convincing win would go a long way towards quelling panic across the great plains.

As usual, I leave you with my deepest, most sincere thought: I have a sneaking suspicion the Huskers are going to Mike Vick the Bulldogs Saturday. Somebody better call PETA.


  1. Sue Tolles says:

    Fresno State Bulldogs…… was a rrruufffff rrruuuffff game to watch. Is Martinez the best we have???????

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s