The Big XII Championship Game: My Experience

Posted: December 8, 2010 in Sports
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Sorry for the delay.  I was not, as many of you inevitably will guess, sitting in a dimly lit room watching Taylor Martinez get sacked in slow-motion while pounding down a quart of Ben and Jerry’s and sobbing along to “Sinead O’Connor’s Greatest Hits.”  I wanted to.  But, I had a shit-ton of schoolwork piled up and waiting for me when I arrived back in Omaha and have been trying not to fail

I went down to the Big XII title game.  And it was awesome.  No, seriously.

I drove down with my girlfriend and got to watch as mile after mile of Chernobyl-looking scenery rolled past in the state of Oklahoma.  I drove with all due haste through hills of dirt so red it was apparent to me that the entire state was the scene of a violent murder.

I landed in Dallas with high hopes for the team.  With belief that somehow, some way, Bo Pelini would will his team to a victory.  After all, this was not the powerhouse Oklahoma teams of the past.  They weren’t as bad as last year’s team; a squad more famous for their backup QB’s mustache than his ability to make smart passing decisions but they were merely good.

I left Dallas feeling like Lee Harvey Oswald (or the Cuban conspirators, or the Texas Oil Men, or even J. Edgar Hoover’s grassy-knoll dwelling hitmen) had busted a cap into my vocal chords and like we were back to where we ended last season.

As we arrived at the stadium I was blown away.  I had heard all about the insanity that is Cowboys’ stadium, but thought that perhaps some of the high praise for this landmark had been overblown.  I was more incorrect than a Big 12 ref in the Texas A&M game.

The stadium itself loomed large, at one point literally blocking out the setting Texas sun, and looked to be part Death Star, part Taj Mahal, and all “bigger-is-better” Jerry Jones masterpiece.  On the outside of the stadium, fans were boozing up and getting ready to cheer on their teams’ efforts on the field. 

We settled into our seats early, ravenously pounding down a gigantic $8.00 plate of Nachos, and were pleased to see that we were not only close to the field but that we were amidst a crowd of Husker fans.  I had purposely and systematically dehydrated myself throughout the day to make sure that I would have to use the bathroom as little as possible, I had loosened up and applied icy hot to both middle fingers in case Dan Beebe was shown on the 80-yard-long bigscreen, and I cheered with too much gusto when our backup punter hit the field.

This was my first live Husker game of the season and when I saw our team preparing to make their grand entrance, following in a bouncing Pelini in his patented crew-neck sweatshirt, I exploded; a Mt. Vesuvius of pent up excitement.

The first quarter went perfectly.  When we won the coin toss I screamed like a Beatles groupie in those newsreels.  When Roy Helu burst through the line on Nebraska’s second possession and hit a 66-yard TD, I shouted so loud that my vocal chords nearly ruptured.  And that, Burnpoetry fans, is how I lost my voice for the next 2 days.

I screamed for the Huskers so hard that for the next few days my voice sounded like the killer’s from the “Scream” movies.

But then the 2nd half rolled around.  And I didn’t have as much to scream about.  Suddenly our Freshman quarterback looked like a freshman quarterback and our coordinator became unc0ordinated.  The defense, which was asked to be perfect, simply could not live up to such insanely high standards.

I’ll get into the exact performance of the team a little more in a post later this week, but suffice it to say, it was the most fun I’ve ever had watching the Huskers piss one down their leg.

FIN

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Comments
  1. Sue Tolles says:

    is there such a thing as “too much gusto”? I’m glad you had such a good time. Watching the 2nd half at home was very painful.

  2. Glenn says:

    Watson is up for the Vandy job, wish him all the luck in the world to get that job. So nothing flusters Martinez. Did you see the channel 3 news when he had the security chase the cameraman away after the game?

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