Nerds have conquered.
The meek have inherited the earth.
No longer do heroes wear capes
Or even tights.
They no longer wield phallic

Believing that
Conan’s sword
Or Harry’s dirty gun
Means either is packing in their pants
Has been slain
Like a Bond villain before James gets laid.

Heroes now
Are dictated by circumstance
Not muscle mass
And more than likely have
Shaggy hair and trouble
Talking to chicks.

Heroes today are the
Common man.
The push up your glasses
Not roll up your sleeves for a bar fight
Average dude.

But now that the common
Has become
And now it’s almost certainly
I’m getting tired of watching
Stammering dweebs
Become bigger rockstars
The Rock.

I’m not against nerds.
I am one.
I’ve debated “Star Wars”
And my fingers read
X-Box controllers like braille.
But I am against
Lack of plot
Lack of ingenuity
Lack of anything but a
Dork-riddled script that reads
Like a 14-year-old’s
Mad Lib.

_____ liked a girl.
But she didn’t know _____ existed
Until one day _____ happened
And _____ became a hero
And awkwardly hooked up with _____.

My beef lies not with nerds.
But when inundated
With insecure heroes
I long for the
Over Clark-Kented masses
To have another shot at


  1. Sue Tolles says:

    You’re right……. The heroes I knew/know don’t use tights or capes. They work every day to provide for their families. They worry about you when you are late.

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